July 5, 2010

Wedding Bliss…Love Pondered

July 3, 2010

Saturday morning I woke up with the agenda of preparing myself to attend a wedding. This wasn’t a couple I knew, but I was an acquaintance of someone who was a friend of the bride. All week I had envisioned what outfit I would wear, how I would style my hair, and the dance floor waiting for me. As I combed my hair I wondered emotionally how I would be able to handle this witness to marriage, to a love so pure.

The bride was absolutely beautiful. The image of a woman on her wedding day is beyond fathomable because the beauty radiates leaving her groom as well as the guests breathless. As I sat back, I watched them hold hands and vow to each other...my heart pulsed happiness for them. The pride in the groom’s eyes melted as he took his bride by the hand to he lead her down the aisle towards their new journey together as husband and wife. Congratulations and good luck to the blissful couple.

Being in an area I had never ventured in before, with people I have never met, allowed me to lower my guard to embrace the music that filled the room. Stepping onto the dance floor was electrifying as the beat traveled up my legs and into my soul. I felt weightless as my hips swayed and my arms raised with the melody. Running my fingers through my hair, sending seduction as my entire body let loose presented invite as I danced with the person I came with. Direct heat rose between us and yearn of physical contact brought forth a lust of animalistic desire. The image is more of a dream than a reality.

Throughout the day I wondered if I ever would find love again. Intimidation creeps through me as I ponder something long-term. What takes a couple to 50 years? Is there someone out there that would have the stamina, the endurance to face a day with me? My confidence is low that someone will stick around with the circumstances that I have…frankly, I wouldn’t blame them. There is a void as I feel there is something wrong with me, like I am not worthy of a connection with someone…of the vitality of a love so pure with deep innocence.

A day of celebration for a level of the deepest love pure is a couple’s wedding day. The sky was clear blue with a crisp breeze, perfect conditions to venture into their marriage together. I wish them a blessed future of great happiness, devoted compassion, and pure love. So here I stand…raise your glass, to the bride and groom!

Love so beautiful…Devotion was shared

~Nina~

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