The common phrase, “There is always a rainbow at the end of a storm.” How true…how true! Days like today are very enlightening. I have been struggling with heartache and a tremendous amount of pain, but each day I just kept turning inward, searching for a strength that could bring me a day like today. My spirits were high and my smile contagious.
One of the first things I noticed the past two days was my ability to wake up to the morning without the desire to tell the world to “Piss off!” I opened my eyes at my normal time and felt my organization as well as my drive fueling my efforts. The sunrise was beautiful as the rays of purity filled my heart with courage today. This subtlety in my morning routine was the first sign that my battle to win myself back has prevailed.
When I sat down at my desk I looked to my right and there they were…my precious trio. They are my reason to breath, my potency to press on, and my vitality to survive. My decisions are made with the outlook to their well-being. Three pairs of beady eyes gazed back at me all day. My heart swarmed with the deep emotion of love…my love to each one of them.
I have this frame that holds a picture of the three of them together, but then also a individual picture of each. I finished my ensemble off with a little poem of devotion I wrote to them…
Motherhood blessed, strength we bonded
God’s gift from above, my darling three
Pride and pure, great adventure for sure
Each hug, every kiss does set me free
Growing to fast, treasured moments cast
Guidance they gain, upon wings of the dove
I pledge my children, your future of brighten
For all days, all years embrace Mom’s love
To: Chloe, Kaden, & Connor
~Love, Momma~
At this very moment I feel proud…I am proud of the obstacles I have been challenged with and the outcomes I have been rewarded with. I have learned that deep within I carry a hidden clarity for what life really is and what life really should be lived for. My heart smolders a power I didn’t know existed, that I didn’t believe I could have. My level of composure and focus has brought a safe environment for my children to nurture in as their imaginations take them to the depths of each of their tiny fantasies.
I do have hesitation and anxiety rises as my divorce approaches, but I didn’t let it take today…my day. Tomorrow I can face what I must, but at this very moment I will close my eyes and relish in the mountains I have summated. As I draw in a deep breath I can feel a confidence flow through my veins. My heart beats triumph and my soul cascades harmony. Balance…I am balanced.
Lost--what not cannot be found…precious life
~Nina~
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