Exhaustion….Pure Fatigue

Another conversation drained my soul. I can’t help but wonder when a person will set a side the past to make a proper determination of the current and take a different position for the future. I have remained sensitive to the emotion of feeling blindsided due to the notion that was formed by what was viewed prior. I am not blaming for the frustration that initially brought struggle to the concept, but now the picture of my experiences has been made clear. Where does it take my relationship with this individual? I don’t have an answer.

Sickness, this pressing cold is aiding in my exhaustion. The ability to breath is difficult and my head throbs. I told my little girl that she got me sick and her pleasant response was, “Momma, you work with doctors, he will make you better.” While chuckling at her solution, I couldn’t help but kneel down and give her a hug. My sweet daughter, I love you. I am so blessed as she is such a creative child. I adore her as she tilts her head, gives me that innocent grin, and asks for some sort of treat or the desire to watch a movie. How can I say no to such a face! My children are my main focus and that continues to bring me strength, keeping one foot going in front of the other.

I also accomplished a minor feat today. I left feeling a slight weight being lifted from my shoulders. Help, the help I have been searching for was found. The peace I felt today stands close to the tranquility that came to me this past Sunday when I accepted communion. The priest ventured to the room where my boys were. The support I was embraced with as a tear fell while performing the sign of the cross brought light to my heart.

The past few weeks I have spent a large amount of my time praying. One important relationship that I desire to nurture would be my one with God. My dedication to religion hasn’t been of great priority, but there comes a time in one’s life that the only thing that gets one through the day is their faith. The future holds such an unknown and my faith is what brings me to my successful level of function. The saying goes, “God doesn’t give you more than you can handle.” I began to question that, I began to wonder what he sees in me that I don’t. At that point I decided that I would just keep going and placing my fate in his hands. I will embrace the destiny that he has brought forth to me.

Tonight I leave you with this: Believing in yourself will bring you strength, the strength of belief will carry you on, the future you hold is yours to seek, your life is a gift presented each day…overcome yesterday, embrace today, and prevail tomorrow.

Dreams, the motivation of a lifetime…

~Nina~