February 27, 2010

Alone on a Day for Two

The emotions that surfaced the night he got on one knee, “Will you be my wife?” I was beyond honored and felt desired. That evening had been filled with great romance. I knew I would make him proud; I carried a vision of sweet happiness. Today I wonder how I got here. This day marks our wedding anniversary, our first year anniversary.

I woke up and knew it would be a struggle. Where is he? What is he doing? How is he handling it? I stumbled across my binder where I am compiling a collection of poetry I have written. The words I structured to tell him my emotions, deep emotions of love. As I turned the pages I came cross the one I wrote with the intentions of incorporating with the invitations for our great white affair.

The Joining of Our Hearts

A soft breeze stirs the air
Swirls in with grace the dove
Carrying a symbol so elegant so pure
Encasing our hearts of great love
Happiness shapes the brilliant day
Encompassing the serene of carriage
This warmth each one embraces softly
As they step together into marriage
Joining as one to share this life
Forever they shall walk hand in hand
Him as her husband and she as his wife
~Nina~

This surge of emotion, this cascade of tears…no one will know just how much I invested into him. Giving him my entire being to bring him happiness was my daily aspiration. The reward of his smile enforced that the effort was worth it. This emptiness is a void I doubt will ever be filled.

Our milestone is one we won’t be sharing. The mist of sadness brings a haze to my heart. A day of appreciation is spent feeling a deep pain. What does tomorrow bring…a continued battle of separation. I will place my hand over my heart as I lay my head to rest, I will say a prayer for the soul of my husband. No person should ever live such a profound twinge within. Though separate my love doesn’t sever as he is the man I married, the father of my children. As I look to the heavens I ask to not only bring me strength, but to shower him with the empowerment he needs to prevail.

Love pure…pure fidelity

~Nina~

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