Determination…Strength

Hmm…today has definitely brought an emotion I haven’t been acquainted with since the beginning of this journey. Frustration, not anger, a heavy frustration. The past few days has brought me to this front of, “Enough is Enough.” I am beginning to feel cornered and pressured…my reaction you may wonder? My stance is, “No More.” I feel this inner strength coming forward and placing my foot down.

A conversation or two through the proper channels has brought my insides to bring forth an obverse of protection. I am being thrown suggestions, hope, and desired outcomes, but I am making decisions with education and the outside factors supply the facts of contradicting behavior. This is placing weight into my caution side, my awareness. I will not allow the opportunity to come forth for a repeated danger and I won’t allow one foot to get in the door. My life will continue no doubt. Will it continue with him? Will it continue alone? My answer is, it will continue without domestic abuse, without emotional abuse, and without verbal abuse. My life will continue with a fostered happiness. I didn’t deserve this, I deserve better.

Control, by definition is: to exercise restraint or direction over; dominate; command. No more will he exercise restraint to dissolve my personality. No more will he provide direction over my desired ambitions of who I want to be. No more will he dominate my existence in this world. No more will he command a behavior with the reinforcement of fear. I declare that today I take the reigns. I make the decisions for me. I am going to exercise restraint or direction over; dominate; command in the direction of my life.

Each day I strive to make someone smile. Each day my goal is to help someone when I can. Each day I maintain providing my full potential. I am going to turn and look in the mirror. Today I made myself smile, I helped myself, and exceeded my potential. I am a good person, I am a strong woman!

Fortitude, my mindset is guided by courage…

~Nina~