Good Morning…Life of Purity

August 7, 2010

Nothing can explain the warmth my heart was met with this morning as I opened my eyes to the purest sight of all the land…

It had been a difficult night for Chloe and she ended up sleeping in my bed. The presence of her lying next to me eases the great loneliness I have at night, but her need of feeling safe supersedes the benefit I receive. I woke up often last night to her sleeping face and just ran my finger across her forehead to tuck the stray hair behind her ear as I whispered, “Sweet dreams my darling girl.” My heart fills with great pride as her innocence is preserved with her imagination venturing dreamland. As dawn broke I opened my eyes. My heart flooded as we were almost nose to nose and her eyes popped open. Those beautiful, big brown eyes sparkled of rest. She brought her hand up and as she caressed my cheek my heart exploded with the overwhelming emotion. This moment, as we lay there, was of impeccability…pure adoration.

Through out the day I found myself diving into the depths of my appreciation for this life I live each day. My children are beautiful and so very happy. Their smiling faces and hearty giggles do bring reward to my daily efforts. Nothing is more gratifying as the vision of my sweet babies enjoying each other and developing an imagination of adventure.

There was one point while picking up around the house I stopped. I stood at the window in my dining room, leaned up against the wall, and crossed my arms in front of my chest while pondering. The house was quiet as my little ones were napping, but my mind was screaming with question.

There are days that I embrace my independence and become satisfied with being alone. I don’t have that world of emotion and closeness that can cloud one’s heart. The absence of the vulnerability of being hurt keeps me feeling very safe. Other days I dream of the warmth of another standing by my side. The cascading emotions of love as our fingers interlace and electricity shared as our lips meet. Sharing experiences is a natural part of life and I wonder if I will ever have that opportunity again. Overall I do long for my heart to become matched with the devotion of another. Time will tell…the future holds many answers of the unknown.

As I gazed outside it started to rain. Today the rain signified the opportunities my future does hold. I was being showered with hope and cascaded with faith. This rain will nurture the seed of trust I need to grow. What I saw outside was the vision of my spreading my arms and twirling in the rain, soaking up everything the heavens above had to share with me.

Silhouette of peace…Heart enveloped with serenity

~Nina~