Seriously…Why Today

The weekend was rough and as the alarm sounded this morning, I prayed for a fresh week. I was up and ready to face my day. After my shower I pieced together a professional looking outfit. While curling my hair I thought to myself, “The day will be of what you make it.” There I was, my make-up applied and feeling as though I pulled off being beautiful today.

My sweet blessings were still sleeping so I gathered their things for the day. Moments later we were all loaded up and ready to go. I climbed in the vehicle and pushed the key forward in the ignition. What? It wouldn’t stay started. My slight amount of gas wasn’t registering as it was parked on a slope. I got out of the van and I looked to the sky with my hands in the air, “Seriously, today? Why today?” At what point will my integrity stop being tested. I used the resources I had and we were then on our way. Only a half an hour behind, I smiled in victory to the heavens above. “Yeah, yeah. I prevailed again,” I answered with an worn tone.

The day continued and I promised myself to hold my chin up regardless of my morning. I was feeling as though I just don’t deserve to have one day to proceed smoothly or one day not to hold a hurdle to jump. That’s right, “he won’t give me more than I can handle.” I filed papers, organized my week, and met a few personal goals of the day. Things were seemingly going in a positive step. I guess if I believe in myself then the day can turn around.

It was 45 minutes before my shift ended and I received the phone call. Great, the kids…all three of them…had fevers. I decided that this was too close to all the sickness encasing our lives a week ago. My determination was to have the kids evaluated. I updated everyone necessary and paraded my three little ones into the clinic. As the doctor went from one child to the next he continued to say, “Yep, this ear looks inflamed. This ear is infected.” An hour and half later we left with three prescriptions of antibiotics and the need for more Tylenol.

As I buckled the third precious gift of mine in, I closed the door. I walked around to the driver’s door and hung my head. Exhaustion pressed my soul, my heart. I finally lifted my eyes to the heavens above, “Can I ask? When will it stop? What do I have to do before the dishing of more ceases?” I drove home, the feeling of giving up and letting the forces of ever lasting trials destroy me came to mind. Will God stop then? I have worked so hard at sorting out and organizing the situations handed thus far. At that moment I felt his hand rest upon my shoulder, “I believe in you my child,” he silently expressed.

Six ear infections, three fevers, and one mom…we managed and everyone got the time they needed to settle into a restful sleep. As I tucked in each one of my children, I gazed at the strength I do have. Each set of sick eyes peered back at me, I realized that the day didn’t go as planned, but I did triumph.

Goodnight my darling angels…Mommy loves you!

~Nina~