Flavors Dreamt…Cuisine Lived

Today has been a day of peace. Very busy as I get up with my little ones and it is breakfast, clean-up, dressing, dishes, playing, and by the time we made it just to the morning nap, I was having to get other things done before getting lunch together just in time for the boys to wake up and start over with meals, clean-up, dishes, and more. I didn’t sit down until after bathes. We had then all cuddled up on the couch with a book with the faint sound of a movie playing in the background. The focus of my day was my adventure in the kitchen today.

Cooking is an activity I have always enjoyed. I am pretty mechanical and can follow a recipe with the outcome matching the picture, but I have always wanted to just start grabbing ingredients to bring my own masterpiece alive. As I ventured to the freezer I reached down and picked up a frozen package…instantly my mind started to go wild with the possibilities. I didn’t open a cookbook, I just went on instinct. I wasn’t going for gourmet, but edible and I more than succeeded. As I divided it up for our week I was feeling accomplished as I enjoyed my time just doing something I wanted to do as well as brought a game plan to our suppers. Our weekdays are demanding and the key is to plan ahead.

Other than that, I am at this moment unsure of how I feel. I have this lost haze about my thoughts, with a dash of emptiness. I do pretty good through out the day as I am distracted with diapers, giggles, chores, and more. It is when I turn down the lights, rock them good night, and lay them down for the evening that I become vulnerable. Being alone isn’t something that is easy, but accepted as my normal. Regardless though, I am not sure I will ever harvest a comfort in the solitude…but I will do what I need to do and that is this.

I am proud of myself with my quest in the kitchen the past two days. I have plenty of scrumptious options awaiting for us through out the week. I do think I am going to go with the flow this evening and just allow myself to chill with this mellow, laid back emotion. It has been an overwhelming and very emotional week. I pray that stepping into Monday will bring a better week.

Crossing my fingers…

~Nina~