Yesterday, Today, and Tomorrow

While pondering what I could do with my weekend, I found myself in my vehicle putting the gear shift in drive. I pulled in and as I cut the engine I was proud, proud that I was out doing something for me. I rummaged through the shelves of movies and found four films I wanted to watch. Then I went for a soothing walk. The sun warmed my face; the wind carried away all apprehension in my mind. I felt clear…my mind was lucid…

Tonight I watched the movie, “The Time Traveler’s Wife.” Beautiful work, I was left to seek the question my heart yearned to have answered. Though having the ability to go back would be amazing, it wouldn’t be beneficial to change anything. Life is meant to be lived, to make honest mistakes, to relish in unknown treasures.

I once wrote…

If you were standing at the door of a time machine, do you have the temptation of stepping in and going back? Do you wonder what it would be to rectify something that may have been a mistake? Would changing something put you in a different pair of shoes, say a set of leather heels vs. ripped up sneakers? Living without regrets is a life of fulfillment or denial?

I now feel...

During the recent times of sorrow or uncontrollable grief I would have wanted to jump in and head back into time. I would have wanted to erase or reroute experiences to avoid this huge vault of heartache. I can confidently say now, “I wouldn’t go back, I wouldn’t change anything.”

The person I was, the person I have become…everyday and every experience endured has brought a piece of my internal puzzle. I, now, wouldn’t want to risk this picture that has been brought together…serenity, the peaceful image of the mountain tops at sunset within. I am who I am because of my past. My future holds what it can because of my present. I appreciate the pain I suffered as it made the tenderness of the love and bliss I have and will have even softer.

No regrets…No looking back

~Nina~