May 22, 2010

Love May…Dreams can Say

The past few weeks have brought distance within. My daily activity to capture the emotions experienced everyday has trickled to a slow stream. So much goes through my mind and fear has capsulated my heart once again. There has been some difficulty with the man I have separated myself from. There has been heartache within other relationships of importance in my life. I feel that I am beginning to stack one brick at a time to build isolation around me. I need to step back and realize this won’t be safe; it can’t be a long term fix.

The sharing of my story has helped me as well as many others. I cannot let that healing empowerment fall to the way side. I need to grasp the love and passion in which marks my internal being. I am a woman of great appreciation…compassion for life. I often wonder if I will be able to fully let go of my inhibitions and welcome the connection of another. Will I struggle with the internal question of falling for another man? Yes…yes I will.

Dreaming is the nightly entrance to my own imagination. I continue to learn about myself and of my deep desires. My curiosity of embracing emotions that I have lived for continue to surface. The shadows hold the mystery of love. Can I…will I meet him one day?

The Knight of Her Dreams

Her head meets the pillow for her mind to rest
Casted in shadows his figure to see is her desire
Features imagined leaving a need of the quest
His soft touch, his smile all for her to admire

Eyes closed she prays for there to be no delay
Drifting the depths her fantasy so deep and pure
Peace encases her soul, mystery heads her way
Stature of strength he walks toward her with lure

Mist hovers, merely only the silhouette of his face
Drawing in a deep breath, her hand trails her neck
His cologne, the lust causing her heartbeat to race
Gazing at him, seduction paving his path with beck

Anticipation melted as his arms embrace her so bold
Security flows, relaxing it carries through her frame
Connection captured, no words needed for it to be told
Peering into his eyes she can see he feels the same

His hand caresses her cheek, guiding her to a kiss
Electricity bolts though her entire being to capture
The emotions crumble her once urge to be of resists
Confidences present, no longer does she feel unsure

Spending the hours with her knight was a blessing
A dream she hoped for evolved of such a great beauty
Their time too short as the near dawn was pressing
Upon waking his memory, sorrow as her arms empty
The presence of the vitality his touch sets her free

~Nina~

This morning I woke up with a new mind frame. I don’t have to give up and I know the fight will never die. Moving forward will bring strength and guidance to my essence. I leave you with a verse I wrote a few weeks ago. I recite this to myself daily and today the true meaning is bold.

One man lost his chance, threw away his life…had world by the hand, many wishing she was their wife…dedication she swore, hard work she deemed…advantage was taken, things not as they seemed…free she may feel, seeking life of pleasure…feeling as one man’s trash, hoping someday another man’s treasure…

~Nina~

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