Paper and Pen…All Days Captured

August 27, 2010

The past week I have been surrounded with many tasks and just the exhaustion of daily living. I once felt that I must get to the computer everyday and if I didn’t post that night that I lost that day. Eventually the stress of what I have on my plate as a single parent and my dreams of an inspired author started to make me question whether or not I should write anymore. What I decided to do was forgive myself and let the pressures of life press someone else. On days that I can’t make it to the computer I jot my day, my emotions, and experiences on paper which gives me the opportunity to post it at a time that I can sit down undisturbed. When I started this approach I felt very much relaxed as I was still able to lay my true adventure out to be embraced by all of my followers. I want to thank each of you for your patience and understanding as to why I have been offline lately, but rest assured I am here.

Some days slip between my fingers like delicate white sand. No matter how hard I try to hold on to it my time trickles leaving a path of tasks I wanted, but didn’t get done for the day behind me as I am forced into the next hour…the next day. Learning the effects of stress on a physical level I have done some rerouting on how to handle the emotions of what may feel like an unfinished day to a successful day. I know each day that I give it my all and if the unknown curveballs derail my intended goals for that day, guess what…tomorrow can be tweaked to surface those accomplishments. Since evolving my mentality on leaving things for the next day and relaxing my internal drive to do 1,000 things at one time really has brought a whole new sense of well-being within for me. Now I break those 1,000 things into little batches over various days. Now I don’t feel like a failure anymore if I can’t manage to get every piece of clothing put away or the dishes washed. I have a different sense of self worth as I was able to adapt to my day and still close my eyes knowing that I did give 110% to my children and that is what is the most important to me.

Making myself accountable and still having that drive keeps me in line that I don’t become too relaxed and let things go unattended. It is that balance that I have that has brought me to a healthier approach to life while giving me the ability to fully embrace the beauty of each day. I am more than grateful and to appreciate all that I have I do what I can to give back. Overall I just feel complete and that holistic emotion is a damn good feeling!!

Days may pass…But all is still captured

~Nina~